Wednesday, May 27, 2009


Is it the wheel? Or fire? Maybe you think it’s the printing press. Lots of people are positive the prize, almost automatically, goes to the flush toilet.

What is the greatest invention ever?

The debate is finally over. It’s settled once and for all.

The greatest thing ever invented by mankind is Batter Blaster. For those too far behind the cultural curve for their own good – those who’ve never heard of Batter Blaster - for you I have the only two words that matter, the key to your future delight: Instant pancakes.

You can now buy a can – yes, the same sort of refrigerated pressurized can that whipped cream comes in – and out of its nozzle springs… Instant pancakes!

It’s so simple and so quick. Walk into the kitchen, put a frying pan on the stove, turn up the flame, press the plastic nozzle and – out comes pancake batter!

In a matter of moments, what do you have? You have just the very thing you’ve always wanted – instant, homemade, hot, light, golden brown, crisp around the edges PANCAKES! Please, please, hold your applause.

Life is good. The Patent Office has served its purpose. You don’t have to mix the ingredients, measure the flour, add an egg, pour the milk, shake it up or mix the bowl. You don’t have to worry about making too much batter. You don’t have to watch carefully how much you pour into the frying pan. Oh, no. Batter Blaster. Just point and shoot, so to speak.

And the best part – It takes no time at all. Before you’ve scratched your still sleepy eyes, you’re eating them.

I'll have another, thank you.

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