WHAT'S IT ALL MEAN?

Everitt Dirksen, the late senator from Illinois, was famous for once remarking, “A billion here and a billion there, and before you know it, we’re talking about real money.” He should only have lived to see what’s happening today.

We need to put the amazing numbers floating around in some rational perspective. A billion here… a trillion there… what’s it all mean?

For example, we all know what $100,000 is. Many of us make that much or more in a single year, or we know someone who does. It’s not abstract. A hundred grand is a number we understand. So, do the math - how many years do you have to work to make a million bucks? Ten. Okay, you say – I can handle that. But, we are now giving away billions – not millions. Let’s try to get a grasp on exactly what this means. How long must you work, if you’re making a 100 grand a year, to make - not a million - but a billion? The answer is… ten thousand years. Yes, that right! It’ll take you that long. A word to the wise – you don’t have it in you, sorry.

If we just gave AIG $170 billion, what does the “we” part really amount to? Who are “we”? How many of “us” does it take to equal this so-called “we”?

The average household income in the United States is $53,100 – and for the most part it takes 2 wage earners to accumulate that much. That’s roughly half the 100 grand we’ve been talking about. For the average American household, instead of ten, it will take about 20 years to earn a million dollars. If you figure a lifetime of working at about 40 years, and you count two people healthy enough and skilled enough to manage that kind of effort, then your average American household will bring in about $2,000,000 in a lifetime. Of course, odds are they’ll need to spend every penny of that money – after taxes of course - just to stay alive… pay the mortgage, buy food, run the family car, send the kids to college… you know, that kind of stuff.

How much was it we just gave to AIG? Oh, yeah - $170 billion.

Remember, each billion dollars is a million dollars, a thousand times over!

And, each $1,000,000 represents the lifetime earnings of 2 American workers… multiplied by 1,000 - in order to make a billion - and then multiplied again by 170 to reach the $170,000,000,000… Or you could say it equals 340,000 working Americans.

So, we have given to one company – AIG – an amount of money equal to the lifetime earnings of 340,000 Americans… every single cent they’ll ever earn in their entire lives!

In order for a tiny group of men and women who have owned and operated AIG – and run it literally into the toilet - not to suffer the consequences of their enormous ineptitude and phenomenal incompetence, the results of 13,600,000 years of labor by 340,000 individuals have been gifted to the least deserving among us.

Why are we doing this? Does anyone know? Can you explain – specifically and exactly – what terrible things would happen if we allowed all these gangsters and their criminal enterprises to collapse inward upon themselves and fail? Don’t give me platitudes like… “The banking system will fail…” or, “The world’s financial systems will come tumbling down.” Tell me exactly what that means – exactly what will happen - How When, Where and Who.

Can you do that? Is any of what we’re doing worth what it's costing?

Can you tell me how “we” the taxpayers will ever get our money back?

And, if it’s not coming from your pocket and from mine, can you tell me where (besides a printing press) all this money is coming from?

HOW STUPID DO THEY THINK WE ARE?

How stupid do they think we are? And - be honest - how stupid are we… really?

Answer these six questions:

1. Who knew all about the AIG bonus payments, long ago, not just in the last week or two?
A) President Obama and his top economic advisors and Cabinet members.
B) The members of Congress, House and Senate, who are on the Banking Committee.
C) Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, George W. Bush and Henry Paulson.
D) All of the above.

2. Who knew – long ago – that mortgage based derivatives and credit swaps were destined to collapse and bring down the credit markets and the banking industry?
A) Nobody.
B) Only a tiny handful of very smart economists.
C) Lots of people in a number of US companies in the mortgage, banking and investment industries.
D) Thousands and thousands of people around the world in a host of companies involved in banking, hedge funds, mortgages and investments.

3. Who knows how to solve the economic mess we are all in now?
A) President Obama and his top economic advisors, including academics and Cabinet Officers.
B) Members of Congress.
C) Highly paid professionals still working in the world’s leading investment banking companies.
D) Nobody.

4. Why has the American dollar gained strength through all this crisis and chaos?
A) The fundamentals of our economy are sound.
B) The productivity of the American worker will assert itself eventually.
C) The vitality and integrity of the American business model is the envy of the world.
D) Forty-thousand nuclear weapons together with a worldwide air and naval force.

5. Why isn’t President Obama doing the right thing?
A) He is doing the right thing.
B) He’s trying to do the right thing.
C) It’s too early to know if he’s doing the right thing.
D) He hasn’t the slightest idea what the right thing is.

6. How screwed are we?
A) Blued.
B) Tattooed.
C) Royally.
D) All of the above.

PAPA'S BRACKETOLOGY

America loves “March Madness.” We like college basketball – but not really that much. But, never underestimate the power of gambling. Everyone loves to bet on something. We’ve chosen the annual tournament matching some of the best college basketball teams against one another, with a handful of undeserving, but handsomely paid, patsies thrown into the mix.

I mean, really… Binghamton is playing Duke? I beg your pardon. Isn’t that like the Little Sisters of the Poor playing the Pittsburgh Steelers, or you teeing it up against Tiger Woods? At least the powerhouse team from North Carolina will be properly tested, right? Wrong. They get to play a team from an institution of Higher Learning called Radford. Anyone ever heard of it? I didn’t think so.

If the match-ups aren’t immediately indicative of legitimate competitive action, why do we go so crazy about this? It’s all about the money. All across America, even Claude Raines knows BRACTETOLOGY is the word. Grease ain’t nothin’. Americans will bet more money on the NCAA College Basketball Tournament than on any event including the Super Bowl.

Papa wants to help. So, for all you devotees of P.T. Barnum, here are the NCAA First Round winners:

In the Midwest Region – LOUISVILLE, SIENA, ARIZONA, WAKE FOREST, DAYTON, NORTH DAKOTA STATE, USC and MICHIGAN STATE

In the East Region – PITTSBURGH, TENNESSEE, FLORIDA STATE, PORTLAND STATE, UCLA, VILLANOVA, TEXAS and DUKE.

In the South Region – NORTH CAROLINA, BUTLER, WESTERN KENTUCKY, GONZAGA, TEMPLE, SYRACUSE, CLEMSON and OKLAHOMA.

In the West Region – CONNECTICUT, TEXAS A&M, PURDUE, WASHINGTON, UTAH STATE, MISSOURI, MARYLAND and MEMPHIS.

Are there some upsets in there? Sure. Anyone can bet the chalk. As they say in the sports shoe biz – just do it! That should be enough to hold you for a while. But, for those too anxious to wait it all out, here’s your Final Four:

LOUISVILLE v MEMPHIS – and – NORTH CAROLINA v OKLAHOMA

The winner? The National Champion? --- MEMPHIS over NORTH CAROLINA 79-73!

Now, go out and make some big bucks.