America loves “March Madness.” We like college basketball – but not really that much. But, never underestimate the power of gambling. Everyone loves to bet on something. We’ve chosen the annual tournament matching some of the best college basketball teams against one another, with a handful of undeserving, but handsomely paid, patsies thrown into the mix.
I mean, really… Binghamton is playing Duke? I beg your pardon. Isn’t that like the Little Sisters of the Poor playing the Pittsburgh Steelers, or you teeing it up against Tiger Woods? At least the powerhouse team from North Carolina will be properly tested, right? Wrong. They get to play a team from an institution of Higher Learning called Radford. Anyone ever heard of it? I didn’t think so.
If the match-ups aren’t immediately indicative of legitimate competitive action, why do we go so crazy about this? It’s all about the money. All across America, even Claude Raines knows BRACTETOLOGY is the word. Grease ain’t nothin’. Americans will bet more money on the NCAA College Basketball Tournament than on any event including the Super Bowl.
Papa wants to help. So, for all you devotees of P.T. Barnum, here are the NCAA First Round winners:
In the Midwest Region – LOUISVILLE, SIENA, ARIZONA, WAKE FOREST, DAYTON, NORTH DAKOTA STATE, USC and MICHIGAN STATE
In the East Region – PITTSBURGH, TENNESSEE, FLORIDA STATE, PORTLAND STATE, UCLA, VILLANOVA, TEXAS and DUKE.
In the South Region – NORTH CAROLINA, BUTLER, WESTERN KENTUCKY, GONZAGA, TEMPLE, SYRACUSE, CLEMSON and OKLAHOMA.
In the West Region – CONNECTICUT, TEXAS A&M, PURDUE, WASHINGTON, UTAH STATE, MISSOURI, MARYLAND and MEMPHIS.
Are there some upsets in there? Sure. Anyone can bet the chalk. As they say in the sports shoe biz – just do it! That should be enough to hold you for a while. But, for those too anxious to wait it all out, here’s your Final Four:
LOUISVILLE v MEMPHIS – and – NORTH CAROLINA v OKLAHOMA
The winner? The National Champion? --- MEMPHIS over NORTH CAROLINA 79-73!
Now, go out and make some big bucks.